One Big Deusional Family
by Black-Whilterd-Rose
Summary: Hiii . This Is Has Some Custom Characters In This, They Will Be Named At The Top Of Each Chapter. I Own The Custom Made Charatcers But None Of The Others In Naruto.


_Okay this is a Fanfic based on the Akatasuki's._

_I Own Rika and Maddie._

_Disclaimers - I don't own any Naruto Character :(_

Oh and Jaden or No Jaden is like Deal Or No Deal .  
And The Money is five grand that has been converted into Yen.

* * *

The Damn Jam Muching Trouser Man.

It was a 'so called' calm day in the Akatsuki base, for only one reason... Tobi was asleep. Even when he was sleeping his girlish shreeks bursted out disturbing eveyone, but for some reason it wasn't happening. It was already 10:30, nearly every one was up excet Tobi, Rika and Maddie.  
"Hmmm odd, un." Mutterd the blonde member, Deidara. His sapphire blue eyes gazed around the kitchen, he stood up from his seat and drifted along the tiled floor towards the cookie jar. His hand advetured about in the steel container, attempting to find one of Zetsu's famous choclate chip cookies... Sadly. Nothing was there, it seemed stranged, Zetsu only made them yesterday; and yet they where all gone. Deidara's index finger laid softly on his lip tapping against it, thinking. There was yelling from the sitting room, about weither the contestant on 'Jaden Or No Jaden.' would keep there life or loose it at the end of the game, the prester of it was ofcourse... Noel Edmunds. Hidan always seems to yell at him over stupid little things.  
"Fucking Jaden!" Screamed the enternal human pummling his fist against the coffee table, people where always concerned if he had taken his medacation BEFORE or AFTER the show. "Noel you dick! Put some jam on your shoe's and invite your trousers down for tea!" He always complained on the height of Noel's trousers, weither they where too long; too big or too baggy.... Hidan was always picky. The group where holding their breath, it was box number 13; Hidan's face was turning red by the tention.  
**"See you back after theese messages." **Noel winked to the camra, Hidan fell back head first against the coffee table.  
"YOU FUCKER NOEL!" He screamed, even though how Hidan cussed every word in the book at Noel, he loved the show with such passion it was unreal. He got up from his riot, Kakzuz sighed lightly rolling his eyes. Sometimes Kakzuz wanderd what this was doing to Hidan's blood pressure, after the flash of adverts flogging off useless crap for window cleaning and kunai sock puppets. The group pounderd about getting ready to see if the 'lucky' contestant Jaden's.

"**For you Jaden Or No Jaden fans at home, ring the number at the bottem of the screen to be lucky enough to play!" **Noel exclaimed inthesiasticly, Hidan's eyes sparkled with such excitment as he dived towards the only phone. He pummled the numbers forcefully hoping to get a place before the other people could. Hidan panted banging the floor waiting, waiting for something that he could win MILLIONS.  
"Answer the fucking PHONE!" He yelled banging the floor with his fists.

"Hello?" The other line answerd, hearing the abuse from Hidan's cussed lips. "This is the Jaden Or No Jaden line how may I be of survice?" She asked in a posh Britsh accent, Hidan was buzzing with ignorance and arrogance.  
"Yeah, the dick head Noel said if I ring this number I'd be on the show." The female gasped quietly, just loud enough so he could hear the start of her iholation.  
"Okay well next week is the only spot advailable, and you'll be on a couple of shows showing some boxes. Is that alright Mr... Erm?"  
"Hidan m'dear." He said in a charming voice, she giggled softly and quickly snapped out of it.  
"Okay well you need to be in Lonon by Tuesday is that okay Hidan?"

"YES YES YES!" He rapidly stammerd hanging up the phone with force. "I'm going to London!" Hidan sung, he danced about to the stairs before noticing people where watching. "What the fuck you looking at?!" He growled in his monotone way.  
"You mean... We all are going to London." The leader said carlmly, Hidan looked towards the orange headed leader in discust.  
"Fuck no!" He yelled slamming his fist into the coffee table, the coffee table crumbled at the force; Hidan's face was turning purple at the anger buzzing trough him. He would of possibly killed Pein but ofcourse... Pein would easily find a way to destroy his enternal 'luck'.  
"Hidan, only seven of can go... You can choose them if you really want but. Me and Konan are going." Hidan groaned, they where two people he didn't want going; but he didn't really care, as long as the orange masked idiot didn't come it was all good.

"Fine, get some one to wake the other fuckers up and I'll choose who goes." Pein nodded walking silently up stairs along side him was Konan, every where he went she was always beside him. Ever since they where young.  
"Pein-Sama, should I sent my paper butterflies to wake them?" He nodded as she smirked openeing each door sending a pack of butterflies, fluttering around the sleeping Shinobi's.

Hidan was buzzing downstairs, talking to Kisame a mile a minute, Kisame smiled and nodded having no clue what he was saying.  
"Then we can find hookers! Fucking horny hookers!" He yelled blushing at the thought, Kisame looked towards his partner Itachi slightly freaked out. He mimicked the words 'help me', Itachi chuckled walking out the room to leave them to talk about hookers. Itachi's jet black eyes didn't seem to focus on anything really, just the thought of weither or not Hidan would pick him for the trip; but to be fairly honest the two never really seemed eye to shargingan eye. He sighed lightly eyes diverting towards the floor humming lightly, he stopped dead hearing a fallen body from one of the rooms.  
"Hey watch it!" Cried a female voice, the female was hidden under a curtain of black hair flowing down her right violet eye. She sighed standing up ajusting her Akatsuki top and skirt, Itachi gave his careless look and stood up shurgging his shoulders.

"Humph... Watch where your going young Maddie." He said carlmly turning away, Maddie palced a softly touched hand resting on his shoulder. A small arm lingerd around Itachi's waist as his emotionless face softend up, no one had ever seen a small un-sarcastic smile from Itachi before. Maddie giggled lightly licking the back of his neck, before running away out the door before Itachi could react. "Heh... So childish." He chuckled to himself, his hand reached for the silavia coated neck; a small shiver rustled his spine. "Hmm where's the blonde's girl?" He mumerd to himself walking causaly into the kitchen, Itachi grabbed the nearest seat slowly palcing himself down; attempting not to rip a single thread.

"Itach-Sama... You looking for the red headed female?" Spoke the carlming emotionless Sasori, Itachi nodded; his eyes diverted towards the puppet master hanging infront of the hallway. "Try her room, she's usealy listening to her Green Day, or something along the lines. It's loud and she doesn't notice people walk in." His expression seemed to go to a distancent look from the last time he barged in, he shudderd at the thought. Itachi shrugged his shoulders wondering up the stairs, he sighed as he heard the loud music ecohing; drums, heavy gutair and an angelic voice only being Bille Joe Armstrong (Green Day) he opened the door partly leaving a crack of sunlight bursting trough. Rika was head banging to the song, jumping around but then stopped. Her light emerald eyes scowled at Itachi, he chuckled leaning against the door frame.  
"Heh... Nice dancing." He mocked, a growl emitted from the back of the female's throat, she flipped the hanging loose hairs over her shoulder sighing lightly.

"What do you want Itachi? Wonder where your dearest girl is? Well i'm not her personal assistent!" She snapped turning her back, Itachi smirked walking into the poster coverd room, all of the same black haired male with panda eyes; Rika growled once more edging up to the Uchiha. "Piss off." She said carlmly, Itachi placed his hands inside of his sleeves and placing his left hand tucked in the done up button of his akatsuki cloak.  
"Oh come on 'lil lady." He said attempting to charm her, but Rika stood there. Blinking blankly wondering what the hell is he on about, she walked up to him and stopped to stare into his eyes. Since she was about five foot five and Itachi was about six foot she had to stand on her tip toes.  
"Listen here Itachi, leave me the **FUCK** alone, I know you were with her, just fuck of okay?" She brushed passed him hair flicking in his face, Itachi chuckled once again following the red haired female down the stairs, he skipped the last one as he fell about 10 cm's from the floor, Hidan came from the door **SMASH!** it went against the plasterd wall; Zetsu would have some work Itachi thought sneering. Hidan was boncing up and down as everone entered the lounge.

"Okay fuckers listen up! We are going on the show of Jaden or No Jaden!" He Squeled like a school girl just got asked out by the cutest guy in the school, the rest of the Akatasuki's looked towards him in such disbelive, they couldn't belive he'd be happy for some crappy show which is rigged. He'd still win money about 73 hundred-thousand Yen, it was quite alot really. Maybe they could convert the Akatsuki base with some more professional supplies than what they'd already had, also to fix the wall where Hidan smashed the plastered. "Any way! There's going to be a seven seated taxi tomorrow morning, and Pein said that only seven of you lucky fuckers will be going." Pein looked over coldly nodding, he stood up and walked almost silently to Hidan standing by his side.  
"Yes, but the other five will be responsible of taking care of the Akatsuki base. But that doesn't mean you negelt it right?" The rest of the group nodded there heads in complete symatary motion, Maddie looked over to her brother sighing. Hidan hated both of their guts for some reason, always picking a fight with them for no apparant reason, but it always ended the same. Some other member dragging them away from the rage, carlming the other down, neither of the pair won against him. It was sort of amusing to some of the members seen a five foot eight girl deal with the six foot something male, Hidan clicked his fingers trying to grabbed the female's attention; She snarled at him.  
"ANY WAY Captin obious," Pein looked towards him ignoring the fact of what he'd implyed, it seemed to make Hidan more excitable than useal, "The people who aren't going are Maddie, Deidara, Itachi, Tobi and the red headed female.... Any one know her name?" Rika growled looking trough her blood red hair.  
"The name's Rika you jackass." She clentched her fist as if she was going to attack, but Deidara stood up standing in the way of her so she couldn't strike. Her black streaked fringe hung low blocking out the sight of her right eye as her left eye was a dark emerald green smotherd like panda eyes.  
"Whatever... She's not going." Rika growled again dodging Deidara, she jumped and her fist collided with his face.  
"Little Shit!" Hidan looked up rubbing where he was hit, no wound just numbness. He shrugged it off.  
"Just think of staying here... As your own personal holiday." He winked leaving the room, Rika sighed lowering her head so her hair travled forward.  
"The Fucking Damn Jam Muching Trouser Man." She mumerd.


End file.
